Words and music by Scott D. Stieber

If you get hit by a car or fall off your neighbor’s horse
Get struck by a bolt of lightning or a ball on the golf course
Liability, that’s our line
Call us up any time

You don’t love your husband no more, he don’t love his wife
You’re not happy with the job you’ve got, they don’t treat you right
You know it’s just a matter of time
Call us up, we’ve got an open line

We take it clean and easy, we make it clean and nice
You never have to worry about things twice
Call us up for legal advice
At l a w y e r s,
That's an 800 number, get you out of that mess

You want to sue those TV guys for the child hood you never had
Get the boys that made the noise that made you so mean and bad
For a piece of the action we’ll leave you feelin' fine
So, what does that make us? Hmmm?

You did the deed, got away with the loot, so you got the cash to pay
now some judge and jury are looking for the keys to Lock you away
Robbery, murder, or white collar crime
Call us up, any time

We won’t leave you hanging, we won’t leave you dangle
We’ll close every loop hole, we know every angle
Call us up if your legally entangled
At l a w y e r s
800 number to get you out of that mess

You might lie when you testify, but you can’t lie to love
We can help you with your legal affairs,
you’re on your own with the Lord above
You’re on your own